He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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