Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
