Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
