Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
As shirtless as possible
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
