i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize