Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
