I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
