Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
