When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
