Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
