you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
