I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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