I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
