The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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