ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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