Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
