You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
