Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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