I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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