Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just high enough for therapy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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