I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
