I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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