I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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