Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
