Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
