HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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