Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
