Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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