Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i will never coherently bang her
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
