Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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