Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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