well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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