i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
