She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
