they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
