I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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