See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
