And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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