She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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