So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
