they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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