I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
