How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
only you would photoshop your dick
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
