you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
