Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize