SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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