It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
