The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
