My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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