the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
