Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will pee on everything he values.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
