He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
