Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
