HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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