I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
