East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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