Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
