Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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