we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
