everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
