508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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