we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize