i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you win again, gameday.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
