I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
